Happy Thursday!

I had my follow up appointment with my general surgeon, Dr. Gebur. It has been one month since my last surgery. It seems like a long time ago that this whole process started. (Side Note: Dr. Gebur is fabulous, meticulous, and I would HIGHLY recommend him to anyone.)

After I initially found my lump (August 1, 2014), I went into my primary doctor to get it checked out. From there I was referred to have an ultrasound and a mammogram. My results at the end of my imaging was that there was something there but because of my age, I was told it was probably nothing. I was given two options: 1. wait 6 months and then have it rechecked or 2. have an ultrasound guided biopsy. I opted for 2. I was definitely not interested in waiting 6 months to find out what this lump was. Lets do it now! 

I did an ultrasound guided biopsy and they diagnosed my sample as "flat epithelial atypia." This is possibly the lamest diagnosis ever, because it could be nothing OR it could be cancer. Because of this diagnosis, I was referred to general surgery to have additional tissue removed.

I met with Dr. Gebur and had a surgical biopsy on August 22, 2014. On August 29, 2014 Dr. Gebur called me with my results. Stage 1 Breast Cancer. NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!

How did I go from a probably "nothing lump" to Stage 1 Breast Cancer in less than a month?! 

During the next couple weeks, I felt that getting more information would make me feel more confident in my surgical decisions. I met with a genetic counselor and tested positive for the BRCA 2 mutation. I met with a plastic surgeon, oncologist, fertility specialist, and another oncologist for a second opinion. I felt like the more informed I was, the more rational my decisions would be. I did not want to be making decisions based on my emotions. I needed to do, what I needed to do! It turned out, however, that I was naive to think that I could make a major decision that would not be impacted by my emotion. 

I was sad, confused, angry, and worried. I felt so many different emotions. It was easier to pretend those emotions weren’t happening. I was sad that I had to go to these appointments, I was angry that this was happening to me. Was this some kind of Karma kick-back? Why did I have to deal with this? I was confused about what I felt, what I wanted to do, what was right, and what other people would think of my decisions. I was worried. 

Although my husband has been completely supportive throughout this process and shows me love everyday. I was worried about what this would do to him, how he viewed me, and how it would impact our relationship. Would he still find me attractive? Would this be too much for him to handle?  And maybe the scariest thing to think about, would he leave me? I was determined to not have this diagnosis and my treatment decisions impact how I felt about myself, impact my relationship with my husband, and impact my ability to feel like the sexy, empowered woman that I know I am. 

I had my bilateral mastectomy, with reconstruction, on October 1, 2014. That surgery sucked! The prep for the surgery wasn't so bad, but I had to wait an extra 3 hours before I even started surgery. The radio-active dye they inject didn't hurt like expected. Dr. Gebur walked me through it like it was going to hurt really badly. I am not sure if he was really good at the injection or what but it wasn't bad at all. I hardly felt it. The first 24 hours were horrible. I was in soooo much pain. Advice to anyone who has this done, take all the medication they will give you. Don't try and be strong, just do what you need to do to make it through the first 24 hours. The next two days were much better, but still very painful. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom, I felt like I needed to hold my chest because that was the only way it was bearable to walk. 

After two days, my doctors gave me the option to leave, but said I could stay another night if I felt like I needed it. I was so EXCITED to leave, I jumped at the opportunity to go home. When I went to get dressed, I couldn't raise my arms above my head to put my shirt on. The doctors told me to bring loose clothing but loose wasn't good enough, I needed a zip-up shirt or sweatshirt. I ended up bawling, giving up, and wearing my husbands zip-up (the one he wore to the hospital that day) home. Also, I was glad to have slip on shoes because bending over and tying shoes wasn't an option that day! Once I got home, things improved little by little. About a week after my surgery, I felt like a different person. I still had drainage tubes in, still took medication regularly, but felt like I could walk around, felt more alert...almost human! 

I ended up rigging up an ace wrap around my stomach so I could hook-up my drainage tubes. This was much more comfortable for me then pinning them to a cami or shirt. The ace wrap held the drains in place, it made it easy to reach and drain the tubes, and hid the drains nicely under a shirt. I wore lots of maternity shirts, because I had them on hand and they fit nicely over the drains. I also iced my chest a lot during the first 2 weeks. It kept the swelling down and seemed to help with reducing pain.

The next week, I got my results back from my mastectomy. My tumor was bell shaped and larger than previously thought. My tumor size was 1.2 cm before surgery and 2.7 cm after surgery. Because of the larger tumor. For those keeping score at home, because of the size of the tumor I now have Stage 2 Breast Cancer. I had additional tissue that needed to be removed due to a positive margin. I went back in for surgery on October 17, 2014. That surgery was a breeze, compared to what I had gone through on the first surgery.

I can't believe its been 8 weeks. I can't believe how good I feel. I just can't believe it all happened. I feel really good that I can check this off my list of things to do to get this cancer out of my body. The next step was also accomplished at this appointment. I completed my pre-op appointment for my port placement, which will happen on November 25, 2014 to prepare for my chemotherapy treatments that start on November 26, 2014. Based on my oncotype test (25), I am choosing to add chemotherapy to my treatment plan. I want to be aggressive and get rid of this cancer, hopefully for good!

So look out cancer, I'm coming to chew some bubblegum and kick your ass...and guess what? I just spit out my last piece of bubblegum...

     Mastectomy Survival Guide
(A checklist for your hospital bag)
1. Zip-up Sweatshirts
2. Comfortable pants that are easy to get on
3. Slippers for taking walks in the hall
4. Your favorite blanket
5. Lavender spray or oils to put on your blanket, pillow, or clothing to calm you down
6. Movie player or iPad with Netflix to watch movies/tv. Daytime tv isn't very exciting to watch!
7. Button-up pj shirts (Victoria Secret sells them in sets)
8. Easy slip-on shoes to wear home
9. Snack foods and gum (Don't bring your favorite foods, in case you get sick from the pain meds)